Rebuilding Trust, Self-Worth, and Emotional Resilience
Betrayal trauma can leave individuals feeling disoriented, shattered, and questioning their sense of self and trust. Trauma manifests in various ways, impacting one's ability to securely relate to themselves and those around them.
The aftermath can evoke feelings of overwhelm, making it essential to understand this complex emotional landscape. At Koa Counselling and Personal Coaching, I provide a compassionate space for you to explore these emotions and experiences, allowing for healing and recovery.
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How it can affect you
Discovering betrayal in a relationship can trigger a cascade of intense emotions, leading to a trauma response that unfolds in multiple stages. Whether it's due to a sexual affair, emotional infidelity, or hidden secrets, the journey of healing is uniquely personal. The stages of this trauma are not always linear; they can overlap, loop back, and coincide, making it challenging to navigate through the emotional turmoil. Recognising where you are on this journey and understanding your reactions can be instrumental in processing your experience.
The stages of trauma
At Koa Counselling, I can help you make sense of these emotions and guide you through each stage, fostering a path towards recovery and self-discovery.
Shock
Shock is often the initial reaction upon learning of a partner's betrayal. The revelation of hidden secrets can be overwhelming, making it challenging to carry out simple daily tasks amidst the emotional turmoil.
Denial and Disbelief
Following shock, denial and disbelief may set in as a defence mechanism to cope with the profound pain. Feelings of numbness and detachment can create a temporary shield from the harsh reality of the situation.
Obsession
Obsession may manifest as the betrayal sinks in. You might find yourself relentlessly seeking details, analysing past behaviours, and fixating on the affair and its participants. This can be exhausting and emotionally draining.
Anger and Sadness
As anger and sadness surface, questions about trust, the authenticity of your relationship, as well as self-blame may arise. This profound sense of loss and betrayal can fuel waves of intense emotions, shattering the foundation of safety and trust.
Bargaining
Bargaining may follow, characterised by attempts to rationalise the betrayal and minimise its impact. Seeking excuses and justifications can be a way to attempt to alleviate the pain and regain a sense of control amid the chaos.
Mourning
Mourning marks a period of desolation and withdrawal, where the loss of your once cherished relationship casts a shadow over daily life. Feelings of sadness and despair permeate.
Acceptance and Recovery
Reaching acceptance and recovery signifies a turning point towards healing. While acceptance does not suggest you are ok with the betrayal, it signals a readiness to move forward with self-awareness and self-compassion. This newfound wholeness can empower you to make informed decisions for your future, whether within the existing relationship or beyond it.
Regardless of where you are on this path, healing from betrayal is a deeply personal journey. At Koa Counselling, we can work together to process the pain and move towards a place of safety, trust, confidence, and hope.
Book a free initial call
If you are looking for a counsellor or personal coach in Bristol, I invite you to take the first step towards your healing journey. I offer a free 15 minute phone consultation to see how we might begin to work together.
Please feel free to get in touch on 07516 740314 or email me at anna@koacounselling.co.uk to schedule your call, book a session or make an inquiry.
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